Your Grief Story vs. Your Grief Sensations: How to Begin Healing

Grief is a complex journey, and at its core lies a profound need: to have your pain witnessed. This was the foundation of a recent post, but today, I want to shift our focus to the next essential need of grieving people: to express your feelings.

This might sound straightforward, but expressing feelings often gets tangled up in recounting grief stories. When asked, “How are you doing?” it’s easy to start explaining: This happened, then that happened, and then…. Before we know it, we’re stuck in the narrative, leaving our feelings untouched.

I’ve been there—replaying the story, circling back again and again. Have you noticed this pattern in your own grief too?

Moving Beyond the Story: Tuning Into Your Feelings

To truly process grief, we must go beyond the story and connect with what we are feeling right now. This shift—from recounting events to naming emotions—can open a doorway to healing. It’s not always easy, especially when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing, but tools like the Feeling Wheel can help.

This simple yet powerful tool allows us to identify emotions and their nuances. For instance, if you’re feeling angry, what kind of anger is it? Are you irritated, resentful, or in a full-blown rage? Grief is dynamic, constantly changing in its intensity and texture. By expanding your emotional vocabulary, you can better understand what you’re experiencing in the moment.

From Emotions to Sensations: Bridging the Mind-Body Connection

Therapist Lindsay Braman has taken this one step further with her Emotion-Sensation Wheel, a brilliant tool that connects emotions to physical sensations. For example:

• When you feel anxious, do you notice tightness in your chest or a fluttery stomach?
• When you’re sad, do you feel heaviness in your shoulders or an ache in your heart?

By describing emotions through the lens of the body, this tool fosters mind-body awareness and helps build a deeper connection to your grief. It’s especially valuable for those who’ve been taught to distrust their emotions or have struggled to name what they’re feeling.

Imagine using this tool as a jumping-off point for self-reflection or a conversation with a loved one. It’s not just about naming the emotion—it’s about feeling your feelings in their full depth, in your body, where healing begins.

Why This Matters for Grief Healing

Grief isn’t just a mental or emotional experience—it’s also physical. Recognizing this connection and giving yourself permission to feel both the emotions and their physical counterparts can unlock new pathways for healing. It helps you step out of the looping story and into the present moment, where real growth happens.

What’s Next?

Grief often surprises us with unexpected emotions. In my next post, I’ll explore the surprising and sometimes confusing feelings that can arise during grief and how to navigate them.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to share this with someone who might need it. And if you’re seeking personalized support, consider working with me as your grief coach. Together, we can explore your unique journey and create a structured plan for healing. Or consider my self-guided grief course, Hearts Held Well: Your Grief and Healing.