Early Grief: 3 Critical Things You Need to Know

EARLY GRIEF. Just hearing those words can bring a sigh of exhaustion and sorrow. If you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like the very ground beneath your feet has disappeared, leaving you in a world where nothing makes sense anymore. If you’re here, chances are you’re navigating these uncharted waters, whether it’s your own heartbreak or that of someone you care about. I want to share with you three critical things to know about early grief that might help guide you through this rocky terrain.

1. Grief Is Deeply Personal and Unique

Grief is as unique to you as your fingerprint. It manifests differently for everyone, even within the same family, and even when the same loss is shared. Some people might experience intense sadness, others may feel numb, and some might go through a whirlwind of emotions—anger, guilt, relief, or confusion. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Your way of coping is valid, even if it looks different from how others around you are grieving. Trust that your process is yours alone, and that’s okay.

There’s also no timeline for grief. It doesn’t follow a set schedule, and it’s important to trust yourself to grieve at your own pace. Don’t feel pressured—whether by yourself or others—to “move on” by a certain time. Grief ebbs and flows, and honoring your unique timeline is crucial.

2. Grief Affects Your Whole Being

Grief doesn’t just touch your heart; it impacts your entire being—emotionally, physically, and cognitively.

Emotionally, grief can be overwhelming. The pain of losing someone you love can feel unbearable at times, and it’s common to experience a deep sense of loss, sadness, and longing. But grief also brings with it a rollercoaster of other emotions, like anger, guilt, and even relief, all of which are normal.

Physically, grief can manifest in many ways. You might feel exhausted, struggle with headaches, stomach issues, or notice changes in your appetite or sleep patterns. Every system in your body can be affected. These physical responses are normal, too.

Cognitively, grief can lead to what’s often called “grief brain.” You might find it hard to concentrate, forget things easily, or feel like you’re in a mental fog. Making decisions and focusing on tasks can be particularly challenging during early grief. Give yourself grace during this time; your brain is trying to process an immense loss.

3. Support and Self-Care Are Essential

In grief, especially in early grief, support and self-care are not just important—they’re essential.

Seek Support. Your relationships will likely change during grief. Reaching out to trusted friends, family, a grief support group, or a grief coach can provide comfort and understanding. Having your pain witnessed and affirmed by someone who can sit with you in both your darkness and light is where healing begins. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Prioritize Your Self-Care. Taking care of your physical and emotional needs is crucial, even though it may be difficult. Simple things like eating well, staying hydrated, resting, and getting some movement, preferably outdoors, can make a difference. And remember, it’s okay if you can’t do these things all the time. Self-care also means allowing yourself to grieve—feeling the feelings that arise—and finding ways to express those emotions.

Get Professional Help. When grief becomes overwhelming and interferes with your ability to function, seeking professional help from a coach, counselor, or therapist who specializes in grief can provide the guidance and support you need to ease your suffering.

Understanding these aspects of early grief can help you navigate the process with more compassion for yourself or the loved one who is grieving.